the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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