Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
