its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
BRING THE BAGELS
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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