you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
