He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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