matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
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