Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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