sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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