now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
