No, drunk sperm still make babies.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize