Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
