Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize