What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
