so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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