im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
