The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I want a musical about memes.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
