i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
4 words: hood of his car
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
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