i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize