I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
