Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
