addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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