i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
