I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
