I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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