Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
