She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
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