So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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