Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
