Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
