I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
