All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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