Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
