3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
