nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Randomize
