Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
