you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
