You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
