I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
it glows. i had to have it.
they're like a gay fantastic four
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
