He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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