im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
