Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
