You smell like stripper and shame
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
