yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
