We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
