If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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