she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I will be naked everywhere
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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