No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
