It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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