went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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