I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
