I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
