she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
