last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
