I cockslap morals
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
