The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize