thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
