my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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