Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
