it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
My dick has a subreddit
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
