all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
