so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
