I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
