everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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